Why am I a secretary with a Master's degree who is NOT looking for another job?
This is a question that I ask myself sometimes daily, but the answer is always the same. Because the job I have is super stable and my family needs me to stay where I am for stabilities sake.
Sure, I could leave this job, go work in my field. But for every action there is a reaction, right? What would happen if I did that?
1) Well, I know for sure that my pay would be less than what I make now. I make really good pay.
2) I also would have to worry about the health insurance available through those (likely) nonprofits that I would be working at. With Trump and the Republicans so gung-ho to mess with the Affordable Care Act, how do I know I could even get health insurance in a year? Though, living in New York State, my changes are better than if I lived in a red state. And no, I do NOT complain about how much I pay in taxes, deal with it.
3) I have a very stable job. The likelihood of me being laid off or fired is EXTREMELY low.
My kids are my world. I need to remind myself daily, while I'm at work, frustrated when I am treated as if I am stupid and do not know anything by people who underestimate me. Or when I am yelled and shouted at on the phone.
What does piss me off are the articles that tell people that they could travel if they just budgeted better. Or they could have that dream job, they just have to go out there and get it. Yes, but what is the price? Sure, I could probably figure out a way to travel and change jobs, but my kids would pay the price and that is not something I want to put them through.
So in this new year of 2017, I am standing up even more than last year and saying NO. No, life is not black and white/either and or. Life is gray-scale and we need to find our calm and center even when we are at our most frustrated part. Even when we are at our most lonely and sad or angry.
LinkedIn spouted to everyone in my connections about my work anniversary, and every congratulations is a stab in my heart because NO, this is not what I want to do. This is not what I racked up student debt for and wrote page after page while sitting in class away from my kids. This was not my dream.
But as a mom, this is my price to love and adore my kids. To put my kids first and make sure that they have a stable childhood that is not jerked around by my whim.
I wish I could study Buddhism more, I wish I was calmer and less angry. I wish I didn't feel so alone so much of the time. But every decision I make is one that I can live with because it is the RIGHT one. I find joy in the hugs and cuddles of my kids. At our goofy laughs because somebody farted and it really stinks.
So here is to hoping that this year I am less angry and more proud of myself. Perhaps I cannot be necessarily grateful for this job, though I am to a degree. But I am proud of myself for being the unsung hero of my kids. Yes, I am ringing my own bell because I have not acknowledged this over the past two years. I am doing what is right. Perhaps that is the lesson my spirit needs to learn in this life.
Be well folks.
Jen
This is a question that I ask myself sometimes daily, but the answer is always the same. Because the job I have is super stable and my family needs me to stay where I am for stabilities sake.
Sure, I could leave this job, go work in my field. But for every action there is a reaction, right? What would happen if I did that?
1) Well, I know for sure that my pay would be less than what I make now. I make really good pay.
2) I also would have to worry about the health insurance available through those (likely) nonprofits that I would be working at. With Trump and the Republicans so gung-ho to mess with the Affordable Care Act, how do I know I could even get health insurance in a year? Though, living in New York State, my changes are better than if I lived in a red state. And no, I do NOT complain about how much I pay in taxes, deal with it.
3) I have a very stable job. The likelihood of me being laid off or fired is EXTREMELY low.
My kids are my world. I need to remind myself daily, while I'm at work, frustrated when I am treated as if I am stupid and do not know anything by people who underestimate me. Or when I am yelled and shouted at on the phone.
What does piss me off are the articles that tell people that they could travel if they just budgeted better. Or they could have that dream job, they just have to go out there and get it. Yes, but what is the price? Sure, I could probably figure out a way to travel and change jobs, but my kids would pay the price and that is not something I want to put them through.
So in this new year of 2017, I am standing up even more than last year and saying NO. No, life is not black and white/either and or. Life is gray-scale and we need to find our calm and center even when we are at our most frustrated part. Even when we are at our most lonely and sad or angry.
LinkedIn spouted to everyone in my connections about my work anniversary, and every congratulations is a stab in my heart because NO, this is not what I want to do. This is not what I racked up student debt for and wrote page after page while sitting in class away from my kids. This was not my dream.
But as a mom, this is my price to love and adore my kids. To put my kids first and make sure that they have a stable childhood that is not jerked around by my whim.
I wish I could study Buddhism more, I wish I was calmer and less angry. I wish I didn't feel so alone so much of the time. But every decision I make is one that I can live with because it is the RIGHT one. I find joy in the hugs and cuddles of my kids. At our goofy laughs because somebody farted and it really stinks.
So here is to hoping that this year I am less angry and more proud of myself. Perhaps I cannot be necessarily grateful for this job, though I am to a degree. But I am proud of myself for being the unsung hero of my kids. Yes, I am ringing my own bell because I have not acknowledged this over the past two years. I am doing what is right. Perhaps that is the lesson my spirit needs to learn in this life.
Be well folks.
Jen
