Affordable/Free College or the Circling Drain

Call me what you want, a freeloader, a communist. I do not care. Here are the facts. College used to be affordable, you could save up and pay for a semester, now you cannot. Seriously, you just can't.

I have a daughter who wants to be a teacher. I am supporting a husband who is disabled due to his time as an EMT saving people's lives. I work full time and have a ridiculous amount of student loans that I will NEVER pay off. Am I going to tell my daughter that she cannot be a teacher because I cannot afford to save up money to send her to college? NO.

At work, I am slowly working my way up the ranks from support staff (secretary) to professional (I have a master's degree). So this is good, but by the time she goes to college it will mean that she will get very little in aid from the state because supposedly I could afford to have saved enough to send her.

I don't take vacations, I don't even take staycations because I need my time for my husband and kids. So do not tell me that I am a freeloader. I want a better world for me and my kids. I want them to be able to get a college education and pursue the career that calls to them, that will make them most happy. Not rich, just happy in a regular job.

When my generation, and the ten years coming after me, fully reach the age in which the economy is expecting us to hold it up by buying cars and houses, they will get a rude awakening because there is NO way that I will EVER be able to afford a house. I cannot even get a new car because I just cannot afford it. This is life, this is what the high cost of college has done to us.

Circling drain anyone?

Buddhism Rant

I'm cranky, I'm bitchy, I'm feeling overwhelmed and undervalued. However you want to phrase it.

That being said, I have been doing the best that I can (with my stressed out and chaotic life) to follow the tenants and let it go. But:

I work at a job I HAVE to, not that I WANT to in order to support my family. This means that I cannot get away from some toxic situations (classism) and I have to work in a job that does not fulfill my passions.

I have a lot on my plate and work every day to not complain to everyone all of the freaking time, though it really feels like I do (sorry to friends).

Classism is when you are at work and people who are above you ignore you or treat you like a second class citizen because of how much you get paid. Doesn't always happen and it can be VERY insidious.

So here is where my Buddhism rant comes in. Buddhism is all about accepting your emotions and finding your center. But the monks who talk about this are living their life as monks. I can tell you that around 80% of the people in my very large building would love to do something other then what they are doing, but cannot because they have to support their families in this feudalistic/capitalist society.

I want to be able to buy my kids ice cream on Fridays and have yarn to knit. I want to be able to pay bills.

Would I rather quit my job and be a therapist? Fuck yeah! But I cannot support 4 people on 38k. Oh but wait, that must be my fault right?

I'll just put my Queen Irritable hat on for the day and look forward to when I can relax and knit while watching Netflix and cuddling with my kids.

This week of hell needs to end.